Light Bender

by Lillian

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03:25
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released October 27, 2017

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Lillian Denver, Colorado

Lend your ear and open your heart.

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Track Name: Light Bender
Through the night I dreamt
Of a dark ocean
The moon was bright
Reflections of light
On a rolling tide

I cannot help but feel
Afraid of everything
Of what lies beneath
Of what I cannot see
Of the depths I'll never know

And I suppose
I'll never know
Of what lies in store
Or what's around the road

But I'll bend the light
To the shadows of the night
To the darkest places I know
So you'll never feel alone
So you'll never feel alone

I used to ask myself
What I wanted my life to be
But now I see
It's what life wants from
Did I ever have a choice?
Track Name: Long Road
Through the night and into the sunrise
The state lines pass me by
This long road is one of my happiest places
In the whole wide world

Soon the day will turn into darkness
And the cool air will blow through my hair
I'm not a afraid to be alone here
This long road is an old friend
Yeah, this long road is an old friend

I walk my body into the water
As the angels gather to pray
To another sun swallowed by the ocean
May it carry our sins away

Soon the day will turn into darkness
And for some it'll be their last
While I still have breath in my lungs, darlin'
I'll sit here and sing you a song
Yea, I'll sit here and sing you a song
I'll sit here and sing you a song
Yea, I'll sit here and sing you a song

Through the night and into the sunrise
The state lines pass me by
This long road is one of my happiest places
In the whole wide world
Track Name: Becoming
I stood in your doorway
Wondering whether I should go in
When I entered
I felt a piece of me leave

I gotta say
You surprised me
My mind doesn't know what to think
But my heart feels something I can't quite explain

But I'm tired of feeling alone
And I'm tired of convincing you to stay

Despite what my mind says
I can't choose how I feel
And the time has come let you go

Everything in its right place
I keep telling myself
That I'm ready to face the world again

And I should have known
That this was a trap of my own
And I rather be here alone
Than lose myself
Than lose myself again

Everything in its right place
I keep telling myself
That I'm ready to face the world again

As the woman I am becoming
As the woman I've always been
Track Name: Shadow Dancing
What would my life be without these stories in my head?
Always telling me what to do and who to be
Instead of just being

How many tears can I cry
Will the dam break?
The less I try to control
The feeling passes
The feeling passes

It's like a cloud across a mountain
It's just a glimpse
It'll all be over soon
But not now

How many layers of the heart can I find?
And what will it take to carve through other than time?
Can I forgive myself?
Instead of holding onto the story and rotting in my shame
We're rotting in our shame

And sometimes I still believe that love isn't real
The only thing I have yet to do
Is take my shadow dancing
I'm shadow dancing
On a mountain where the clouds drift slowly by
It'll all be over soon
But not now
But not now
Track Name: Absolute Fucker
Well he's an absolute fucker
But I was the sucker
I fell into his trap
I was blind

I began to see myself
Through his critical eyes
It took me a while to realize I'd never be enough

But I've spent a long time being with no one
I'm quite comfortable being alone
But somebody told me once
That your wounds attract wounds
They only come to surface to be healed
To be healed

So in a way I'm grateful for that absolute fucker
I know myself a little better than before
So if somebody tells you
The right way to live
I'd tell them to shove it
There ain't no rule book

Because the heart is a mystery
A mystery it will remain
And only you know the language
So listen
So listen
So listen

Being alone
Listen

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