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Light Bender

by Lillian

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    Light Bender is on vinyl along with last year's EP, Desert Song. Enjoy both on one record!

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1.
Light Bender 04:01
Through the night I dreamt Of a dark ocean The moon was bright Reflections of light On a rolling tide I cannot help but feel Afraid of everything Of what lies beneath Of what I cannot see Of the depths I'll never know And I suppose I'll never know Of what lies in store Or what's around the road But I'll bend the light To the shadows of the night To the darkest places I know So you'll never feel alone So you'll never feel alone I used to ask myself What I wanted my life to be But now I see It's what life wants from Did I ever have a choice?
2.
Long Road 03:57
Through the night and into the sunrise The state lines pass me by This long road is one of my happiest places In the whole wide world Soon the day will turn into darkness And the cool air will blow through my hair I'm not a afraid to be alone here This long road is an old friend Yeah, this long road is an old friend I walk my body into the water As the angels gather to pray To another sun swallowed by the ocean May it carry our sins away Soon the day will turn into darkness And for some it'll be their last While I still have breath in my lungs, darlin' I'll sit here and sing you a song Yea, I'll sit here and sing you a song I'll sit here and sing you a song Yea, I'll sit here and sing you a song Through the night and into the sunrise The state lines pass me by This long road is one of my happiest places In the whole wide world
3.
Becoming 03:25
I stood in your doorway Wondering whether I should go in When I entered I felt a piece of me leave I gotta say You surprised me My mind doesn't know what to think But my heart feels something I can't quite explain But I'm tired of feeling alone And I'm tired of convincing you to stay Despite what my mind says I can't choose how I feel And the time has come let you go Everything in its right place I keep telling myself That I'm ready to face the world again And I should have known That this was a trap of my own And I rather be here alone Than lose myself Than lose myself again Everything in its right place I keep telling myself That I'm ready to face the world again As the woman I am becoming As the woman I've always been
4.
What would my life be without these stories in my head? Always telling me what to do and who to be Instead of just being How many tears can I cry Will the dam break? The less I try to control The feeling passes The feeling passes It's like a cloud across a mountain It's just a glimpse It'll all be over soon But not now How many layers of the heart can I find? And what will it take to carve through other than time? Can I forgive myself? Instead of holding onto the story and rotting in my shame We're rotting in our shame And sometimes I still believe that love isn't real The only thing I have yet to do Is take my shadow dancing I'm shadow dancing On a mountain where the clouds drift slowly by It'll all be over soon But not now But not now
5.
Well he's an absolute fucker But I was the sucker I fell into his trap I was blind I began to see myself Through his critical eyes It took me a while to realize I'd never be enough But I've spent a long time being with no one I'm quite comfortable being alone But somebody told me once That your wounds attract wounds They only come to surface to be healed To be healed So in a way I'm grateful for that absolute fucker I know myself a little better than before So if somebody tells you The right way to live I'd tell them to shove it There ain't no rule book Because the heart is a mystery A mystery it will remain And only you know the language So listen So listen So listen Being alone Listen

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released October 27, 2017

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Lillian Denver, Colorado

Lend your ear and open your heart.

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